Tag Archive for ‘delicious’ at E. M. Esq.

Tag Archive for 'delicious'

A well-heeled hobo

Published

on 24 August, 2010

. 11 Comments

So anyway you come out of work and you’re walking down the street and you think Fuck it, I’m gonna grab a cheeky bag of crisps, and you go into the shop and pick up a packet of smoky bacon because it’s been a while and to be honest you’re not up for the whole King-Tayto-King-Tayto dance you have to do every single time you go for cheese and onion, and so you pay up and you leave and you’re walking along and yeah, you made the right choice, these are reet tasty. Skip ahead a couple of minutes and you’re nearly finished and there’s a bin just up there, how handy… only you’ve misjudged how close to the bottom you were, so you end up standing beside the bin munching away like a div, and after a while the people who saw you leave the shop have passed by and now for all anyone knows you’ve been there the whole time, and you’re stuffing the last bits into your gob and getting more and more hassled and you want to shout at everyone how of COURSE you didn’t just WALK UP TO A BIN and fish around for a bag of CRISPS, you’re wearing a SUIT for god’s sake.

So here you are… approaching your 26th birthday, standing beside a bin, tie askew, jacket missing, wild-eyed, spraying wet specks of salty potato at passers-by. Pay close attention, children: dreams do come true.

Drinkable yoghurt

Published

Colm

on 27 November, 2008

in Misc.

. 14 Comments

Because I love yoghurt, you see, but the delivery system is less than ideal¹. Utensils are only acceptable in a dinner context – having to use a spoon every time you fancy a fruity snack is nonsense. If you had to use a knife and fork to eat a banana, the entire banana industry would collapse in on itself in one great big lickety-split of a jiffy². Let that be a lesson.

Of course, with a banana it’s easy to get away with using your hands. Not so much with a yoghurt. Seriously, you try eat a yoghurt with your fingers and you end up looking like some kind of crazy yahoo. Uncouth doesn’t even begin to cover it. Rascalous is closer, but that’s a made up word and who in their right mind has time for those in this day and age.

Anyway, this has all been a roundabout way for me to say that I really like Yop. I had one a minute ago and it was delicious. Forest fruits 4 lyfe, yo.

Never underestimate the appeal of a good delivery system. [↩]
I’m ignoring mashed banana, which pretty much necessitates a fork. Sure, you can mash it up by beating it with your fists, and in a pinch you could justify that to onlookers by saying it slept with your girlfriend or whatever, but I guarantee they’ll get suspicious when you start pouring on the sugar. [↩]