E. M. Esq.

I don’t understand people who drink coffee even though they say they don’t like it. You say it’s just for the energy boost, but why not lob some ProPlus down you and have done with it? Drink a boiling hot liquid that you don’t enjoy the taste of vs swallow a small pill. I dunno, man.

Even that idea of just being in it for the energy. Where does that stop? There’s this stuff called The Black Blood of the Earth, a kind of distilled coffee that has 40 times the caffeine of a normal cup. You’re not so much asking for as demanding trouble there. You’re sitting in a tank at the National Trouble Convention, and the exits are barred, and you have nothing to lose. Maybe, I don’t know, maybe it’s time to kind of start weaning yourself off? Translate this into a different kind of habit: I like a few pints with my friends, I really do, but the day I catch myself thinking it might be more efficient to just inject sodium pentothal into my sinuses is probably the day I’ll hang up the old spurs.

Anyway. As is often the case, this is all a lead-in to Look At This Crazy Stuff I Found in the Asian Market.

100ml of your finest Lipovitan-D, in a glass bottle, “under licence from Taisho Pharmaceutical Co. Ltd, Tokyo, Japan”. I don’t know who’s trying to fool who by putting this in the energy drinks section, but it’s very obviously the kind of lab-developed superdrug you chase in a computer game while hordes of roided-up ultrazombies try and ruin your day.

As it happens, I’m in the middle of some fairly busy days which I’ve neglected to schedule all that well, so in the interests of poor decisions and the mild entertainment of strangers I’m going to see how well this stuff stands in for a night’s sleep. If you don’t hear from me then I’ve almost certainly unleashed the T-virus, and you should calmly and coolly make your way to the nearest open seaport. Bottoms up.