Hair: I have a lot of it. I mean, just a ludicrous amount. I remember going for a trim as a child and coming out an hour later, the hairdresser sweating buckets, muttering to herself about rainforests and staring into the middle distance.1
I leave a trail of loose hair wherever I go. I don’t need to buy blankets, because it only takes ten minutes lying down to achieve full three-inch coverage. Cleaning up after a shower is a nightmare – tiled floors like, whose idea was that? My first house is going to have a black shag carpet in the bathroom. And I am never, ever going to look at it.
(Do you know, incidentally, how awkward it is picking up strands of hair off a men’s room floor? Because you know that when people see them they’ll know straight away whose head it came off, and they’ll be all “Ugh, that guy has a body, with things on it”. I personally have no idea how awkward that would be, but I imagine fairly. It’s probably almost as awkward as having someone come into a men’s room while you’re standing there in the middle of the floor, whistling, with your hands in your pockets and a bunch of god damn hair all around your feet.)
I would worry that I’m going bald, but this has been happening since I was 13 with no sign of any thinning. I tell you what, I’m not even sure I have a scalp under there. There’s an expedition going in this Saturday to see what they can dig up. Pray for them, internet. Pray for them.
- Saw her the other day actually. I was like, Check her out, all reintegrated into normal human society! It was nice to see, you know? [↩]
I envy you. I’m seeing FAR too much forehead and scalp when I’m looking in the mirror these days
Ahh your shedding issue is quite normal.
“Shedding 50 to 100 hairs a day is considered normal. When a hair is shed, it is replaced by a new hair from the same follicle located just beneath the skin surface. Scalp hair grows about one-half inch a month. ”
http://www.healthscout.com/ency/68/429/main.html
I can do you a good deal on replacement parts. Might take me a while to gather it together, and some of it might be a little plugholey, but this is premium-grade stuff.
I wonder does the replacement hair grow faster than the existing long hair. Certainly it’s always seemed to me like my hair growth slows down after a certain length, but maybe that’s only because I’m looking at relative length.
Science: help me out.