Archive for August, 2009

New adventures in marketing

Published
by
Eli
on 31 August, 2009
in Misc.
. 3 Comments

While in the bookshop yesterday I happened across a book, the name of which eludes me, which nevertheless stuck in my mind because the front cover loudly hailed it as THE MOST IMPORTANT BOOK ABOUT EVOLUTION SINCE DAWKINS’ SELFISH GENE.1 You’ll note there’s no attribution or quotation marks there. It’s just something they slapped on. I didn’t know you were allowed do that.

Naturally, I got in touch with my publisher tout de suite.

Axel, baby,

Has The Tau-Upsilon Procedure gone to print yet? Don’t answer that, there’s no time. Pulp them if necessary. We have a new cover. Print the following, 18pt:

A MOST EXCELLENT NOVEL. SO EXCITING MY EYES HAVE MELTED. FIVE STARS. NO: ELEVEN STARS!

Is that cocky? Print FIVE STARS in Comic Sans so as to create ambiguity. Title and my name can go on the spine. Omit title if necessary.

Won’t keep you any longer. Get to it.

yrs in sport,

E.

PS: I think the boy has been drinking my sherry. Have him fired.

PPS: Working on a new series, The Continuing Escapades of Selfish Gene. Send advance pls. Will forward manuscript on my return from Ecuador.

PPPS: Will be in Ecuador for the foreseeable. Have the boy take care of my post.

  1. As an aside, wouldn’t Selfish Gene be a great name for a character in a children’s story? If you even think about considering stealing that, I’ll Berne Convention you so hard your teeth will spin. [↩]

Scenes from Cork

Published
by
Colm
on 14 August, 2009
in Foreign parts
. 8 Comments

postit1

postit2

postit3

Somewhere in Cork, right now, there is a man with 2.6 gigabytes of Van Halen on his laptop. Did Van Halen even record 2.6 gigabytes of material? Who knows! This man has it anyway.

The depoxening

Published
by
Colm
on 13 August, 2009
in Misc.
. 3 Comments

Those of you who checked back here over the past while (cheers, incidentally) will have noticed there was some villainy afoot1. Firstly, to get the ringing-my-exes bit out of the way: scary warning notwithstanding, the site has been clean since 31 July, but if you accessed it in, say, the week before that, you might want to download Malwarebytes’ Anti-Malware and give yourself an old scanaroonie. To be fair, you were probably already riddled anyway, so this is long overdue.

Secondly, thanks to the hosting ninjas at Blacknight for helping me sort this out. Hey, looking for a hosting plan? Try Blacknight! They’re ninjas.

Finally, I actually had stuff I wanted to post in that time. I know! So keep an eye out for that.

  1. Of which full details here. [↩]