Archive for January, 2009

A couple of links

Does it annoy anyone else when people say “a couple” when they really mean “a few”? I mean, it doesn’t annoy me as such, but “a couple” very obviously means “two” and why would you use it otherwise, because that’s asking for trouble.

Anyway. The first link is one I got off this post on reddit. Executive summary: American mortgage broker becomes homeless, has laptop, maintains some kind of social life/support network by talking to people on the internet. He’s now set up a blog at Lillyweather Lane whereon he’s documenting his continuing adventures. I will point out that he is both smart people and good writers and well worth reading.

Link the second is to a main dudette of mine who has finally done the honourable thing and started a blog. She’s from Belfast, everyone. She has a funny accent. It adds at least three layers of excellent to her already jolly good material.

And just because I’m not about to be pushed around by no pedant, here’s a third link I happened to have open. I don’t care whose toes I step on.

Most excellent fancy

Far be it from me, in general terms, to make grand statements about a book I haven’t even finished reading yet, but listen: David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest is the greatest extant work of art in any medium. Every single page excites me. I have been excited a total of 758 distinct times so far, not counting endnotes, and that’s hard to argue with.

Jukebox Watching

So those touchscreen video jukeboxes: concealed within each one is a metric shitacre of hilarity. Every song gets a limited amount of real estate, with the result that titles often get truncated, leaving us with gems like:

  • I Would Do Meat Loaf
  • Here Comes The Shorty Long
  • I Just Called Stevie Wonder

and the reigning champion:

  • She Bangs The Stone Roses1

But I’ve discovered that it’s not limited to video jukeboxes. The wee little yokes in Eddie Rockets2, with their charming old-timey tunes, are suggestive goldmines3. Witness:

  • I’m Gonna Tear Your Ann Peebles
  • But I Do Clarence Henry
  • Tell Laura I Love Her Ray Petersen

and the plaintive

  • She’s Not There, Zombies

I would have more for you, but things got a bit Jimmy Ruffin last night after some girl accused me of grabbing her Ray Petersen, at which point her boyfriend punched me right in the Ann Peebles. Bad times.

  1. Tempted to say “former reigning champion”, because I’m Gonna Give Her Jimmy Ruffin is hammering on the doors like no one’s business. Incidentally, many cheers to Ruairi for refreshing my memory with these. Similarly incidentally, every man jack of you should be hitting up Futurism in Doran’s tomorrow night. []
  2. I had to google Eddie Rockets to check if there’s supposed to be an apostrophe. So I’m guessing the place isn’t owned by an Eddie Rocket, but is in some way connected with a guy called Eddie Rockets. Does anyone else think that would be a brilliant name for a gangster? []
  3. Suggestive gold: one of the few truly recession-proof commodities. []

Depression is bad times for all concerned

but this man has the right idea.

Your paintings are all your own

I was going to just throw a remark in about what a great song The Bewlay Brothers is, but of course I ended up listening to the rest of Hunky Dory. Huge album, like. Enormous. And what with the poncing around the flat1 and whatnot, I ended up leaving to go to Supervalu two minutes late, meaning I arrived one minute after they locked the doors2. Damnit Bowie, always one step ahead.

Still, I’ve found half a bottle of Malibu stuck in the back of a cupboard so I’m not completely at sea. Coconut is a type of food.

  1. On my ownio this week, so I can get away with that kind of carry-on. Chess! On the other hand, cold and lonely. Boo. []
  2. You have to shave these things, man, it’s the only way they’ll respect you []

Unfair degrees of rug-pulling

I had no idea what my alarm was this morning. I’m talking serious moment of panic. This weird beeping noise coming out of the walls, my phone hopping around with these unfamiliar lights coming out of it… and this was after waking up in the middle of the night and spending a bleary few minutes trying to figure out how the walls had reconfigured themselves without anyone noticing.

Seriously disoriented. On the other hand, great hair today.