Lately it seems fairly impossible to spend more than two minutes in Dublin city centre without having a can of Red Bull Cola thrown at you by zealous marketeers. I’d dodged them all til now – they have rubbish aim and I’m frisky like a mountain goat – but today I discovered that they’ve infiltrated deli counters and they’re handing them out with pies. And I’m a man who likes a pie.
I presume they’re looking to drum up sales through word of mouth, so I feel obliged to record my thoughts.
Pros: Pleasant whiff of ice cream float when you open the can. Free.
Cons: Lingering aftertaste of cheap vodka as filtered through a hobo’s bladder. Can looks like it was designed by Maurice Pratt on his lunch break.
Would go well with: I don’t know, I was going to buy a Yorkie but I got kind of disoriented.
Verdict: D+, would not drink again.
I’d honestly prefer drinking red bull than that “cola” horrible stuff
Red Bull is delicious.
will you review red lemonade next please?
Hot TK red lemonade is the nicest drink in the world when you have the flu, try it sometime
Red Lemonade
Pros: None.
Cons: All of them.
Would go well with: The bin.
Verdict: F
This reviewing lark is easy.
blasphamy
Blasphemy is delicious.
god damn my spelling
A flagon of that cheap tesco cider?
… what about it?
Now do white lemonade
Oh mercy, white lemonade. I don’t know. White lemonade is the most inconsistently maybe-delicious-but-probably-not thing in the universe.
I read that as Lingerie aftertaste.
Hmm.
Aye, it’s awful shite. And I actually paid for it a couple of months ago, long before they began putting it in the taps as they are now.
It might go well with my crackpipe.
I can’t imagine paying for it, even if I didn’t know what it was like. The can is so cheap-looking. I always got a weird impression that it was some dodgy imported rip-off of the brand.
jesus christ, ‘cheap vodka filtered through a hobo’s bladder’? i’ll never drink red bull again. even the thought of it makes me gag now.
Weeeell, that’s just the cola. I do like Red Bull.