If I died suddenly, what would happen to all my social network accounts? Would it be kind of awkward for my e-lectronic i-friends? Would they quietly drop me from their friends lists until there were just these lonely, orphaned profiles floating through the void?
How many dead people are on Bebo right now? Imagine: your profile just sitting there, a snapshot of who you were maybe minutes before you ceased to be, waiting for the time twenty years down the line when the woman who would have been your wife happens across them, glances over her shoulder at her second best sitting there in his vest and boxers balancing a six-pack on his gut, and wonders where her life went wrong.
Someone must have thought of this. Maybe there’s a group of hackers – not so much black hats as black cowls – who have taken it upon themselves to scour the obituaries, take up their posts, patiently observe the slow disintegration of relationships 2.0, solemnly and silently remove the driftwood. Leaving only the terrible finality of an empty profile, the 404 of the soul.
Contrariwise: eight of the most charming seconds of your life.
Isn’t that why Hotmail introduced their 60 day rule?
Don’t log in for 60 days and they delete your account, giving it to someone else… along with your previous emails.
Who do they give it to? We should totally write a film about someone willing to go to any lengths to get hold of their friend’s sensitive inbox.
That sounds pretty smutty. Well, should make the marketing easier…
They give it to the next person to request your username… it could be anyone. (http://www.tomrafteryit.net/microsoft-hotmail-you-suck/)
So this movie:
How about Julia Roberts in a reprisal of her role in ‘My Best Friends Wedding’? Her married boss/secret love-of-her-life is having an online affair with some hussy. Julia takes it upon herself to break up both the marriage and the affair using his stolen personal hotmail account.
Insert some frantic scenes of her stopping him from logging on for thirty days before she successfully destroys the guys life. The guilt eats at her and she comes clean, cooking up a hilarious plan to reinstate the guys marriage and affair. The guy goes along with all of this until he realises the lengths Julia has gone for him and decides he loves her too. END.
Sequel opportunity: The wife and former mistress team up to break up the new happy couple using facebook accounts. Something like Meg Ryan and Matthew Broderick in ‘Addicted to Love’.
In my head the film has a trailer with a load of quick cuts and Denzel Washington shouting at people. All exciting and the like. I frankly do not want to be associated with your silly nonsense.
So cast Denzel as Julia’s dry witted gay best friend. That way he can shout excitedly at people for your trailer…
make the pitch now, gentlemen!
i’m allergic to social networks but i have pondered what might happen to my blog should i be run over by a bus someday. so much so that Manuel the Waiter wrote me an obit, and I wrote one for him in return (dry runs, you understand). yes, we both had far too much time on our hands.
Would Denzel go for that? I can’t see him settling for gay best friend. He’s Denzel after all it’s probably a case of equal billing if not the starring role.
Hi Rosie, nice to see you. Obituaries, you say… that has potential.
I don’t know if gay best friend is in Denzel’s range. Although it would give us scope for a cheeky lampoon of the bomb-up-the-arse scene in Man on Fire. Carry On Implacably Avenging, kind of thing.
you can see me?
[backs hurriedly into the corner where she'd been lurking]